Just another part of the script
by brandy mallory
Summary: A Ulquiorra / Orihime one-shot. Light and fluffy. Nothing special.


A/N: This has been sitting on my laptop for almost a year. So... umm... Yeah. And for anyone who's up to date in the Japanese Manga: THIS is what I wanted to happen later... when you know, all those pesky lose ends get tied up...

I own nothing

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The school roof was all but quiet. In fact, the only sounds any normal human would hear were the wind and possibly the yelling of students playing soccer down below. But as an ex-Espada currently inhabiting a false body made by one of the most brilliant scientists in the world, Ulquiorra could hear a lot more.

In fact, he could hear his girlfriend, a certain chesty high school student with hair that reminded most of sunsets, crying behind some of the roofs AC units. And this deeply concerned him. First off because he had no clue why she was crying, which meant it probably had to do with him, and secondly cause if he did have to do with him he knew of several soul reapers who would soon be hunting him down with pitchforks.

And unfortunately, the brilliant scientist had blocked a massive amount of his powers, so while he was sure he could still beat Ichigo, Rukia or Renji, he highly doubted he could take them all at once. Not without dragging Grimmjow into the mix and asking him a favor was something he'd prefer to never have to do.

"Women," He asked with a sigh, "Why are you up here crying like this?"

"Go away."

"Women?"

"I said go away! Can't you hear?"

He sighed once more, sliding down the wall to sit beside her. She on the other hand, buried her face into her arms and ignored him.

"Orihime, what did I do?"

"Only the worst thing you've ever done."

He took a moment to stare at her before speaking again, "I've been the 4th ranked member of an incredibly blood thirsty army, ordered you killed, threatened your friends lives in order to kidnap you, stuck you in a cell, threatened to force feed you, practically killed Kurosaki Ichigo twice and cut of Ishada's hand. What could I have possibly done to top all of that?"

"She saw you with her."

Ulquiorra's face tilted in confusion, "Who saw me with whom?"

"Rukia," Orihime sniffed, "She saw you at the mall having coffee with…"

"With?"

"Another girl." And with that the teenager proceeded to break into even more sobs.

He looked at her deadpanned as he desperately tried to think of any time he had had coffee with another girl.

"And, and it wouldn't even be that bad," She continued, all but shouting now, "but Rukia said she even looked like me! Except she was older!"

"Wait a minute," the ex-espada started, the pieces clicking together suddenly, "Orihime you don't understand."

"Oh I understand well enough," she said rising to her feet in a trembling rage, "I'm not good enough for you so you… You went out and found some older girl to take care of your needs!"

"Orihime, just settle down and let me explain-" he said, standing up and following her as she fled to the exit.

"No Ulquiorra! I want you to just leave me alone you cheating bast-"

"She's your cousin!" He shouted, in a rare display of just how loud his voice could actually go.

The sunset haired girl stopped, her hand on the doorknob of the exit, "My cousin, why would you?"

"I wanted to explain why she didn't need to send you any more money after next month."

"But, that money is what I use to pay rent and buy food, why would you….?"

"I figured my as fiance you'd naturally live with me and I have more than enough to provide for you." He said, looking at the cement floor as the tiniest bit of uncharacteristic blush tinted his face.

"Fiance?" Orihime spun around to face her boyfriend, "What are you?"

Sighing, Ulquiorra reached into his pocket, pulling out a small, neatly wrapped box, "I was going to ask you next week on your birthday, but I guess my plan will have to be executed earlier than expected."

He took a step forward and went down on one knee, "Be with me, Orihime."

Orihime gasp, looking down at the ring inside. It was simple silver, a miniature of the bracelet he had given her when he had taken her.

"Oh, Ulquiorra," She said, tears starting to flow once again.

"Women, why are you crying again?"

"Of course I will!" She said, throwing herself into his arms.

"Well this has all been very soap opera-ish and overly lovey dovey and all in all boring as hell to watch," Came a loud, annoyed voice from on top of one of the air conditioning systems, "Now can you get the hell off my roof!"

Ulquiorra looked up at Grimmjaw, who looked like a very annoyed kitten, "You're roof? I was sure the school owned this roof, sexta."

"Shut up you stupid emo clown!"

"CUT!" Came the cry from Rukia as she and the camera man (namely Ichigo) popped from behind a fake wall, "Grimmjaw, will you please stick to the script!"

"Well I would if you script wasn't complete bullshit! Why in the world would I congratulate these two! I don't even like the fact Mr. Emo here got one of the hottest chicks to begin with, let alone would I be jumping for joy if they were to suddenly marry!"

Ichigo tried desperately to restrain his laughter, as his girlfriend began yelling back at the blue haired teen, "Well I think it's a perfect script! Don't you agree Ichigo!"

"Hey, leave me out of this; I'm just the camera man!"

"He just doesn't want to tell you it sucks cause he's scared he won't get any if he does."

"What did you stay you mangy cat!"

Ichigo leaped at Grimmjaw.

"Hmm, maybe the script does need something more," Rukia pondered, "Like a battle scene. Or Chappy!"

Ulquiorra looked at the bizarre group in front of him, than down at his girlfriend who was giggling uncontrollably and sighed, "How did I get dragged into this again?"

"Because Rukia cast me in her Women's Society Film Fest entry and you couldn't stand someone else playing the part of you?"

"Ah, yes. I remember."

"I do wonder how she got Grim-Kitty to be in it…"

"Black mail I would assume."

"All right crew!" Rukia shouted, "Come on, Espada Loves A Human, take two! Lets get to the kiss scene! It's the most important part!"

"You're not seriously gonna keep that name are you? It's stupid." Complained Ichigo.

"Do you have any better suggestions, Mr. Cameraman?"

"How about Forbidden Wasabi Cookie Love?" Orihime suggested, "You like that name don't you Ulquiorra?"

"…"

"Ok, places everyone, kiss scene, take two."

'Oh Ulquiorra, I've never been so happy," Orihime began in an almost sing along voice.

"I love you Orihime, I'll always love you." The raven haired boy mentally rolled his eyes at the cheesiness of the lines. Next time Orihime decided to star in a movie he'd have to talk her out of it.

"Oh kiss me Ulquiorra!"

Well, maybe it wasn't all bad.


End file.
